WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN
from 2023 in ( culture / humor / jokes / men-women )

He: Can I buy you a drink? She: Actually I'd rather have the money. He: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. She: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. He: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? She: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. He:... read more

AIRLINES GATE AGENT
from 2020 in ( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )

An award should go to the gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was ebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.Suddenly an angr... read more

TRANSPORTATION JOKES
from 2020 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

New Los Angeles Driver's ExamFor those not fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles, here is a copy of the Los Angeles Driver's Exam. For those of you who are, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that... read more

CHRISTMAS JOKES
from 2020 in ( culture / humor / jokes / christmas )

A Christmas StoryOne day, this past December, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then.It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts I felt obligated to... read more

JOKE IMAGES
from 2019 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

WARNING: Not necessarily for kids (or the squeamish).Animals All Joke Images ... read more

GET INTO FARMING
from 2019 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

Some bad language, but funny. Get Into Farming... read more

COUPLE OF GOOD ONES
from 2018 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

OK, three good ones. andand, this just in, something to settle the argument...... read more

WORRYING WORKS
from 2018 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

Worrying must work, because almost everything I worry about ends up not happening!... read more

IF A MAN SPEAKS IN THE FOREST...
from 2017 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear it, is he still wrong?... read more

FASTEST TROOPER
from 2010 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

Montana State TrooperIn most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drop to single digits or below. About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon responded to a call. There was a car off the shoulder of the r... read more

DOORMATS WITH A DIFFERENCE
from 2010 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

... read more

CRUISE SPECIAL
from 2002 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window: Cruise Special -- $99! She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, I'd like the $99 cruise special, please. The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her o... read more

TYPICAL MAN'S TIMELINE
from 2002 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

1972: Long hair; 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high; 2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund 1972: KEG; 2002: EKG 1972: Acid rock; 2002: Acid reflux 1972: Moving to California because it's cool; 2002: Moving to California because it's warm 1972: Growing pot; 2002: Growing po... read more

SPORTS JOKES
from 2001 in ( culture / humor / jokes / sports )

BaseballAn Irishman moves to the USA and finally attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batters box, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming Run, Run. The next batter hit a single and the Irishman listened as the crowd again cheered RUN... read more

ROMANCE MATH
from 2001 in ( culture / humor / jokes / math )

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man smart woman romance Smart man dumb woman affair Dumb man smart woman marriage Dumb man dumb woman pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss smart employee profit Smart boss dumb employee production Dumb boss smart employee promotion... read more

AIRLINE CABIN ANNOUNCEMENTS
from 2001 in ( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers... read more

A LITTLE BIBLE STUDY NEVER HURT ANYONE
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes / religion )

Subject: Why can't I own a Canadian? Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any... read more

STUPID SAYINGS
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

Save the whales. Collect the whole set. A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of politicians give the rest a bad name. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. HONK... read more

ICE FISHING
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled... read more

BARBECUE SEASON
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.When... read more

SUCCESS EQUATION
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes / math )

This equation should be taught in all math classes! From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to... read more

AIRLINE GRIPESHEET
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial... read more

INSURANCE-RELATED JOKES
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

Frequently Asked Questions About HealthcareQ: What does HMO stand for?A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, Hey, Moe! Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough i... read more

HOSPITAL CHARTS
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

NOTATIONS ON HOSPITAL CHARTS Actual Sentences or notations Found In Patients' Hospital Charts 1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day th... read more

BLONDE JOKES
from 1998 in ( culture / humor / jokes )

Blonde in a hailstorm A blonde is driving home and she gets caught in a really bad hail storm.The hail is as big as tennis balls, and she ends up with her car covered with large dents. So the next day she takes her car to the repair shop. The shop owner, seeing she is blonde, decides to have a litt... read more

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