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Books Page The Lazy Pug Cafe -- As recently as a few months ago, the Lazy Pug Café was nothing more than a dilapidated old two-story farmhouse. Set back just forty yards from the road -- closer than most out in the country -- it had a beautiful old weeping willow in front and a massive ancient oak tree out back. Abandoned years ago, the old estate's only purpose lately had been to serve as a sad but charming reminder of days gone by. Locals witnessing its resurrection these past few months were grateful someone was finally bringing the "old girl" back to life.
 Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo -- Dobie wants to save the world. His old boss, Colonel Charonne, wants to stop him. While on tour in support of his "conspiracy solutions" book, he meets Kaylie -- a simple country girl who might be smarter than he is -- and they fall in love while enduring attacks at every turn. Can they outwit or at least outrun the Colonel's henchman, Major Watson? Will Kaylie succumb to Watson's subliminal messaging and choose him over Dobie? What's up with the blue alien? And what about the hit man that even Watson doesn't know about?
 Last Train Out.
Last Train Out -- Clay and his adopted daughter, Jenna, look forward to their upcoming 'homeland tour' to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, his worst fears are realized. She is not the innocent little girl he thought she was. Not even close. Their only hope now is to catch the Last Train Out .
 Operation Detour
(or, the first half of it here, free) Operation Detour -- Riva, a beautiful young black ops agent on her first assignment, tries to turn Alex into her own asset just to prove she can. When he loses both his job and his girlfriend, she thinks he's putty in her hands. When he decides to go out with a bang, she is afraid she hasoverplayed her hand.
 Lottery President Lottery President -- For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would buy a big house, travel the world and retire. Not Benny. He decided to take the money and run... for President. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it... from politicians. Retire? 'I'll retire when I'm dead!' he would say, not realizing so many people had a retirement plan in mind that would make him very dead. Welcome to the world of politics, Benny. Here's one of my brothers reading my book, Lottery President. He seems to be enjoying it. I swear I didn't pay him to do this.
 Temporary Insanity Temporary Insanity -- Long before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a temporary word processor (typist). For his latest assignment, he thought he was taking just another temp job. He didn't anticipate Venelia and the Dynamos. The what? 
Books/publications by other family members
by Lionel Holmes "This is Lionel Joseph Holmes's autobiography, with pictures."
by Lionel Holmes and Joseph D'Allessandro "This book tells the tales of the Portuguese "Pioneers" of the Sacramento area. Many old pictures"
by steve "This novel might be "historical fiction" or "Faction" since it's created from facts (at least according to the Internet). It is a compilation of pretty much all current "conspiracy" ideas put in story form. There are 5 parts. It started with Ken who was unfamiliar with "conspiracies" being put into the world of them. He met a Daniel and the Daniel's sister, Margot, who were involved in a New World Order conspiracy. The story was how Ken jumped into the whole thing, how the New World Order came to be, how it affected the world, and how it was defeated."
by steve "This is a pictorial trip on the American River (Jedediah Smith) bike trail from Old Sacramento, to Beals Point, and back to Old Sacramento"
by steve "This story is about a group of teenagers cycling across the USA, from east to west along the BikeCentennial bike trail. The leader of the group had the enthusiasm for the trip but lacked knowledge, so he got a friend to help with that. Along with them is are two couples who are friends, a younger teenager who thinks he's a real racer, and another young woman who brought along her young cousin."
by steve "This is the story of a cyclist who likes to race in local races. Lots of the story takes place in Ventura, California."
by steve "This is sort of a silly "conspiracy" story about wolves and dogs that talk"
We're sorry, this category has been BANNED!
Word of the Day (just because we felt like it): Bailiwick (click here)
I'm told this is an excellent book. Once it comes down in price, I might buy it.
Thoughts on writing Louis L'Amour once said he could write while sitting in the middle of the freeway. That didn't impress me at the time, but now it does.
Old reviews
This one was pretty good. Once I got used to the narrative switching back and forth, by chapter, from first-person to third-person, I couldn't put it down. Really good plot. Here's a hyperlink to his web site: harlancoben.com
This one stank (and, yes, "stank" is the correct word here, not "stunk"). I'd read The Alienist by the same author several years ago, so I gave this one a chance. Bad choice. I don't know how many times I threw it down in disgust. I get that way when a book doesn't keep my interest. Anyway, click on the following hyperlink for a copy of its back cover on Amazon's web site. Something, probably its juvenile quality, tells me he wrote this as a teenager, dragged it out of the closet, and submitted it to his publisher merely for the sake of having something to publish. Its locale and discussions of terrorism are eerily prescient in light of September 11, but that's pretty much all it has going for it.
Yes, that Dave Barry. It was actually a good, funny, light-hearted action adventure novel. Maybe you've seen the movie they made out of it? Anyway, I'm always surprised when a novel can keep me interested and turning its pages, which this one definitely did. [from 1993]
It's been made into a movie. Maybe you've seen it? Anyway, the book is very well-written, and we don't say that often. It's about a Hollywood movie studio mogul and what happens to him after a disgruntled writer threatens to kill him. We can't really tell you any more without giving it away. All we can say is that, sadly, it doesn't end the way we would have liked. But it's still good.
I had heard it was good. But it's not, particularly. In fact, I'm pretty amazed it became a bestseller. It must be people's apparent fascination with lawyers that makes it so appealing. It sure isn't the writing. I'm a pretty tough critic, but I figure a bestseller should be well written. Call me crazy. The book starts off well, but by the end the whole thing gets pretty "hackneyed," as they say. Oops, after saying this, I just remembered that it didn't start off well. It was at least page 100 before anything interesting happened! The only reason I kept reading beyond that was because I had heard it was good! Oh well, the middle 100 pages are okay, I guess. Maybe the movie will be better. [It was.]
Virtually unreadable, though every once in a while I pick it up again and make another stab at it. If I ever finish it, I'll let you know.
See "Focault's Pendulum" review.
My Family Members Books[Updated: 2021-07-27 15:28:03]by Kenneth J. Souzaby Lionel Joseph HolmesHis autobiography, with pictures. by Lionel Holmes and Joseph D'AllessandroTales of the Portuguese "Pioneers" of the Sacramento area. Many old pictures by steveNote from the author: This novel might be "historical fiction" or "Faction" since it's created from facts (at least according to the Internet). It is a compilation of pretty much all current "conspiracy" ideas put in story form. There are 5 parts. It started with Ken who was unfamiliar with "conspiracies" being put into the world of them. He met a Daniel and the Daniel's sister, Margot, who were involved in a New World Order conspiracy. The story was how Ken jumped into the whole thing, how the New World Order came to be, how it affected the world, and how it was defeated. by steveA pictorial trip on the American River (Jedediah Smith) bike trail from Old Sacramento, to Beals Point, and back to Old Sacramento by steveA story about a group of teenagers cycling across the USA, east to west along the BikeCentennial bike trail. The leader of the group had the enthusiasm for the trip but lacked knowledge, so he got a friend to help with that. Along with them are two couples who are friends, a younger teenager who thinks he's a real racer, and another young woman who brought along her young cousin. by steveThe story of a cyclist who likes to compete in local races. Lots of the story takes place in Ventura, California. by steveA silly conspiracy story about wolves and dogs that talk.
My Writer's PlatformWilliamArthurHolmes.com is my "writer's platform," with a page showing where you can buy, preview and/or review all of my books. Or, just look below...
Where to buy, preview or review my books ANOTHER WAY: Beyond the Status Quo
Amazon, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Good Reads, Kobo, Scribd
LAST TRAIN OUT
Abe Books, Amazon, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Facebook, Good Reads, Kobo, Over Drive, Scribd, Smashwords
Clay and his adopted daughter, Jenna, look forward to their upcoming "homeland tour" to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, his worst fears are realized. She is not the innocent little girl he thought she was. Not even close. Their only hope now is to catch the Last Train Out. OPERATION DETOUR
Abe Books, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Facebook, Good Reads
Riva, a beautiful young "black ops" agent on her first assignment, tries to turn Alex into her own "asset" just to prove she can. When he loses his job and girlfriend, she thinks he's putty in her hands. But when he tries to go out with a bang, she is afraid she hasoverplayed her hand. Will either one of them survive? LOTTERY PRESIDENT
Abe Books, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Good Reads
For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would buy a big house, travel the world and retire. Not Benny. He decided to take the money and run... for President. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it... from politicians. Retire? "I'll retire when I'm dead!" he would say, not realizing so many people had a retirement plan in mind that would make him very dead. Welcome to the world of politics, Benny. TEMPORARY INSANITY
Good Reads
Long before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a temporary word processor (glorified typist). For his latest assignment, he thought he was taking just another temp job. He didn't anticipate Venelia and the Dynamos. The what? AUTHOR PROFILES
Amazon, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Facebook, Good Reads, Over Drive, Scribd, Smashwords, WilliamArthurHolmes.com">William Arthur Holmes Ask me a question on Good Reads
Go to Another peek at my books
Lottery President For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would buy a big house, travel the world and retire. Not Benny. He decided to take the money and run ... for President. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it ... from politicians. Retire? "I'll retire when I'm dead!" he would say, not realizing so many people had a retirement plan in mind that would make him very dead. Welcome to the world of politics, Benny. Here's the first half of it, free, in PDF format!
All of My Novels
Started a New Story TodayI started writing a new story today. Can't say much about it except that it's pretty much sci-fi, though it might wander into religion and politics. So, yeah, it should offend just about everyone. Then I took a break and started cleaning. Did a load of dishes. Vacuumed and cleaned the office carpet because not one, but two dogs threw up behind me as I wrote. Was that a commentary on my writing? Wouldn't be the first time. I was so engrossed in the writing I didn't even notice their "commentary" until I got up for more coffee. I then gave a couple of dogs, not the same two, baths because they've been itching like crazy from both skin conditions and fleas. Once they dry off, I'll put some more Frontline on them. Just wanted to give you an update 'cuz I know you're hanging on my every word. :)
UPDATE: And now, "just" six years later, it's finally out!
Last Train OutClay and his adopted daughter, Jenna, look forward to their upcoming "homeland tour" to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, his worst fears are realized. She is not the innocent little girl he thought she was. Not even close. Their only hope now is to catch the Last Train Out.
All of My Novels
Novellas and NovelsFree novellaTemporary Insanity"Long before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a temporary word processor (glorified typist). For his latest assignment, he thought he was taking just another temp job. He didn't anticipate Venelia and the Dynamos. The what?
Free (to members) novels"It would be amazing if I had any fans at all to help finance what I do! Thank you for (possibly) being one."
"For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would buy a big house, travel the world and retire. Not Benny. He decided to take the money and run ... for President. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it ... from politicians. Retire? "I'll retire when I'm dead!" he would say, not realizing so many people had a retirement plan in mind that would make him very dead. Welcome to the world of politics, Benny.
"Riva, a beautiful young "black ops" agent on her first assignment, tries to turn Alex into her own "asset" just to prove she can. When he loses his job and girlfriend, she thinks he's putty in her hands. But when he tries to go out with a bang, she's afraid she's overplayed her hand. Will either one of them survive?
"Clay and his adopted daughter, Jenna, look forward to their upcoming "homeland tour" to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, his worst fears are realized. She is not the innocent little girl he thought she was. Not even close. Their only hope now is to catch the Last Train Out."
First 20% Sample: epub mobi (Kindle) lrf Online Reader -->" Here's one of my brothers reading my book, Lottery President. He seems to be enjoying it. I swear I didn't pay him to do this.
Ask me a question on Good Reads
Go to Another peek at my books
Novels/NovellasDid I mention I've written a few novels/novellas? Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo "A politically-incorrect manifesto. Anti-corporate crusader Dobie Pokorny wants to save the world. His old boss, Colonel Charonne, wants to stop him. On his "truth tour," Dobie meets and falls in love with Kaylie while enduring attacks at every turn. Can they outrun Charonne and his minions? Will Major Watson steal her away? Is she too good to be true? And, what's up with the little blue alien?"
Last Train Out on Amazon, or on Smashwords"
Clay and his adopted daughter, Jenna, look forward to their upcoming "homeland tour" to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, his worst fears are realized. She is not the innocent little girl he thought she was. Not even close. Their only hope now is to catch the Last Train Out." Lottery President"
For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would buy a big house, travel the world and retire. Not Benny. He decided to take the money and run ... for President. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it ... from politicians. Retire? "I'll retire when I'm dead!" he would say, not realizing so many people had a retirement plan in mind that would make him very dead. Welcome to the world of politics, Benny." Operation Detour (or, the first half of it here, free) " Riva, a beautiful young "black ops" agent on her first assignment, tries to turn Alex into her own "asset" just to prove she can. When he loses both his job and his girlfriend, she thinks he's putty in her hands. When he decides to go out with a bang, she is afraid she hasoverplayed her hand."
Temporary Insanity"
Long before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a temporary word processor (typist). For his latest assignment, he thought he was taking just another temp job. He didn't anticipate Venelia and the Dynamos. The what?"
Books/publications by other family membersFor Control of Oz by steve "This novel might be "historical fiction" or "Faction" since it's created from facts (at least according to the Internet). It is a compilation of pretty much all current "conspiracy" ideas put in story form. There are 5 parts. It started with Ken who was unfamiliar with "conspiracies" being put into the world of them. He met a Daniel and the Daniel's sister, Margot, who were involved in a New World Order conspiracy. The story was how Ken jumped into the whole thing, how the New World Order came to be, how it affected the world, and how it was defeated."
A Pictorial American River Bike Trail Trip by steve "This is a pictorial trip on the American River (Jedediah Smith) bike trail from Old Sacramento, to Beals Point, and back to Old Sacramento"
All Across America? by steve "This story is about a group of teenagers cycling across the USA, from east to west along the BikeCentennial bike trail. The leader of the group had the enthusiasm for the trip but lacked knowledge, so he got a friend to help with that. Along with them is are two couples who are friends, a younger teenager who thinks he's a real racer, and another young woman who brought along her young cousin."
The Big Race by steve "This is the story of a cyclist who likes to race in local races. Lots of the story takes place in Ventura, California."
Descendants of Wolves by steve "This is sort of a silly "conspiracy" story about wolves and dogs that talk"
My Life -- Lionel Joseph Holmes by Lionel Holmes "This is Lionel Joseph Holmes' autobiography, illustrated with pictures taken over his life."
Portuguese Pioneers of the Sacramento Area by Lionel Holmes and Joseph D'Allessandro "This book tells the tales of the Portuguese "Pioneers" of the Sacramento area. Many old pictures"
Scared to Life by Kenneth Souza -- About surviving his prostate cancer. Ask me a question on Good Reads
Here (the video under Author Updates) is one of my brothers reading Lottery President. I swear I didn't pay him to do this.
Go to Another peek at my books
Best Thrillers of All-time According to the Telegraph, anyway. An interesting list. Several if not most of these were that author's first published novel. I've actually read half of these, though it's been years. I should read them again.
Honorable mention:- The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas (1844)
- The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers (1903)
- The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy (1905)
- The Third Man and other stories by Graham Greene (1949)
- The Day of the Jackal by Frederick Forsyth (1971)
- Gorky Park by Martin Cruz Smith (1981)
- A Time to Kill by John Grisham (1989)
- Los Alamos by Joseph Kanon (1997)
- Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn (2012)
Go to Another peek at my books
How to Move a Book StoreA rent increase forced the owners of October Books to move locations in Southampton. They used a crowd funding campaign and loans to buy a former bank location about 500 feet down the street for $400,000. Cool! Human-chain-helps-British-book-store-move-down-the-street
Recently Discovered Book Repository"HathiTrust is a partnership of academic and research institutions, offering a collection of millions of titles digitized from libraries around the world."
Read, listen or watch the rest here Hathi Trust Digital Library
Temporary InsanityLong before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a temporary word processor (typist). For his latest assignment, he thought he was taking just another temp job. He didn't anticipate Venelia and the Dynamos. The what?Click here for more. Or, in this case, the whole thing, free! :)
Go to Another peek at my books
Operation DetourRiva, a beautiful young "black ops" agent on her first assignment, tries to turn Alex into her own "asset" just to prove she can. When he loses both his job and his girlfriend, she thinks he's putty in her hands. When he decides to go out with a bang, she's afraid she's overplayed her hand. Here's the first half of it in PDF format, free!
All of My Novels
Best Fiction of 2019"The Testaments by Margaret Atwood... wins this year's Best Fiction award for her long-anticipated sequel to the dystopian classic "The Handmaid's Tale." The book picks up the story 15 years after handmaid Offred's ambiguous fate in the theocratic nation of Gilead and continues the saga's dark contemporary resonance. In fact, Atwood's stated inspiration for her new novel is direct: "The world we've been living in."
Read, listen or watch the rest here: Best Fiction Books 2019
Ask me a question on Good Reads [unrelated to this contest :) ]
Go to Another peek at my books
Review My BooksIf you've read any of my novels, please give them a review on Amazon (click the book's image, below or on the right, then click the "Write a Customer Review" button on its Amazon page, to the left), on Apple Books, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you bought it. Thanks! Leaving a review on iBooks is not easy. Here's instructions if you're using an iPhone or iPad. Apparently, you have to have an Apple device to even leave a review on Apple Books. That's annoying, but here are more instructions. Or, leave a detailed, point-by-point review here that will help me become a better writer! Ask me a question on Good Reads 
Featured book deals on SmashwordsOr, go to show_books.php
The Lazy Pug Cafe, a NovelMy latest short story, based on our real life pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey, the latter of whom is the only one still alive and barking. See www.amazon.com/dp/B085XM6QW8
The Lazy Pug Cafe was a dilapidated old two-story farmhouse abandoned years ago, lately serving as a sad but charming reminder of days gone by. With its beautiful old weeping willow in front and a massive ancient oak tree, Ol' Lightnin', out back, locals were grateful someone was finally bringing the "old girl" back to life. Come meet the pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey! There's cats and humans, too, but it's all about the pugs! After all, Pugs Rule!
Go to Another peek at my books
Children Prefer Storybooks that Explain Why and How Things Happen"Children have a never-ending curiosity about the world around them and frequently question how and why it works the way it does. Researchers have previously demonstrated that children are interested in causal information, but had not yet linked this to a real-world activity, such as reading. A new study finds that children prefer causally-rich storybooks, suggesting that such content may be more engaging and could help to increase children's interest in reading."
Read, listen or watch the rest here: sciencedaily.com
My Most Recent EBooksTwo of my ebooks are available free of charge all month (July) at Smashwords. The links are at the bottom of that page. I've already "sold" five copies since yesterday as opposed to five copies over the past year. I guess the price is finally right. :) Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo blurb: "A politically-incorrect manifesto. Anti-corporate crusader Dobie Pokorny wants to save the world. His old boss, Colonel Charonne, wants to stop him. He meets and falls in love with Kaylie while enduring attacks at every turn. Can they outrun Charonne and his minions? Will Major Watson steal her away? And, what's up with the little blue alien? Is it even real?" Last Train Out blurb: "Clay and his adopted daughter, Jenna, look forward to their upcoming homeland tour to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, his worst fears are realized. She is not the innocent little girl he thought she was. Not even close. Their only hope now is to catch the Last Train Out."
Colonel Charonne Quotes (From Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo)" "You're that Commie, Pokorny! I should shoot you where you stand!""Pokorny's still out there selling that tripe and it needs to stop. Now! I want him gone! You know what I'm saying?"
-- Colonel Charonne from Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo
Dobie Pokorny Quotes (From Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo)"If you're not a conspiracy theorist these days, you're just not paying attention. Sure, some scoff at the mere thought of conspiracy, but ask any detective, lawyer or judge -- if you can find an honest one -- and they'll tell you conspiracies happen all the time. From petty theft all the way up to rigging elections and global conquest. Pinky and the Brain are not the only ones trying to take over the world!"
"Screw 'economies of scale!' It's better economics for all businesses to be small businesses, limited to just a couple hundred employees each. But I don't have a degree in economics or business or anything else. Most importantly, I don't put a gun to anyone's head, so nobody in a position of power listens to me."
"Any society with sayings like 'Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing' and 'Nice guys finish last' is one screwed-up culture."
"My system, for most of us, would mean less work. A lot less because, when it comes right down to it, all we really need is food, shelter and something to do."
"I laugh when employment ads say they require a college degree for jobs that I know from experience do not require a degree. Half a brain, sure. College degree? No. And half of them don't even say exactly which degree is required. They just want proof you were gullible enough to invest four years of your life in The System and accumulate enough student debt to make yourself a virtual indentured servant!"
"You're like a flower surrounded by... fertilizer."
"Um... no one's ever said that before. I'm not sure how to take it."
"If she had any consideration for those around her, she would close her door so we don't have to hear her and her suck-ups cackling from half way across the office while we're stuck in our 'open office' cubicles with no walls, no privacy, and no noise abatement! And don't tell me to wear headphones! If I wanted a job requiring headphones, I'd be one of those guys out on the tarmac with the batons guiding jets into the gate!"
"I'm jinxed when it comes to anything electronic. I couldn't watch TV or use a 'smartphone' if my life depended on it. My body emits electromagnetic pulses -- EMPs -- or something."
"Either way, watch out for those that flatter and convince you you're better than everyone else. You're not. Don't get me wrong, we're all wonderful, but as the old saying goes, 'you are better than no one, and no one is better than you.' And, 'You are special... just like everyone else!'"
"So, I dreamt about an alien the other night. Probably no big surprise in these parts, eh? Anyway, his name was Semmy. Actually, he said his full name was -- let me see if I can say it -- Sematalanthoyop."
"The Bible, on the other hand... creates more questions than answers. I recommend everyone become familiar with it but also recommend reading software license agreements, and no one ever does. At least those can be used in a court of law. The Bible cannot. But don't tell that to settlers using it to justify the theft of other people's land!"
"Most of us only listen to know-it-alls like me for confirmation of what we already know. It's the mystery of life, the lack of answers that keeps us going!"
"I'm not pretending to be anyone's guru or savior. I want people to be their own savior, and I'm not here to be idolized. It's not like I'm a rapper, actor, athlete, or any one of those so clearly worthy of your worship."
"People have said I have authority issues, and I'm okay with that, though I'd argue it's more of a short-sighted-idiots-in-power issue. We should all have such issues!"
"Not to brag, but my IQ is well above average, not that I put much stock in IQ tests. Still, like any man with anything larger than average, I'm quite proud of that! High enough to feel good about myself. Low enough to keep me humble. Okay, maybe not so humble."
"There's no greed or corruption with my proposed system because there's no profit motive. It's the profit motive that ruins everything! Think about it: Almost every one of society's ills goes back to money at its core. That, and people trying to get ahead."
"Being a leader is not my thing. Other than by example, I'm against leadership. It requires followers, and I despise followers."
"Funny how the threat of lost love puts politics into proper perspective."
"Somebody has to at least try to make the world a better place, Reggie. That's all I'm doing."
-- Dobie Pokorny, from Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo
Alex Pannas Quotes (From Operation Detour)"If I seem flippant, that's just how I cope. You either laugh or you cry. You apparently start referring to yourself in the second person, too."
"I'm a trusting person. I just took my doctor's word for it."
"I try to be cool. I now know something about being an outsider. Nothing like what s/he must feel, but I can commiserate."
"Do I look like a shoplifter?"
"From now on, call me Alex... no... Axel. Yeah, Axel McLean. I like the sound of that. How about Axel Winchester McLean? Ooh, good one."
"I wave goodbye. He flips me off. I nod and smile. It's good to make friends, meet new people."
"Life! It's a smorgasbord! It's all there for the taking!"
"You look different somehow. New haircut? Gain weight?"
"These guys would crap their pants if they had an actual terrorist to deal with."
"Kuala Lumpur!? Are there a lot of koala bears?"
"So we blow them up? How does that help?"
"What? You don't like umbrella drinks?"
"My girlfriends are always female."
"There are an awful lot of monkeys around here."
"I was fired today. But wait, there's more! Coming home early, I caught my girlfriend and now-former best friend cheating on me... and filming it... in my bed. Turns out, they've been doing this for a while. Yeah."
"I've been told a toilet flushes in the opposite direction in Australia. My life can go down the drain in the opposite direction!"
"So, who are you with? CIA? NSA? IRS? TSA? NBA?"
"Oh-oh here she comes. Watch out boy, she'll blow you up!"
-- Alex/Axel Pannas, from Operation Detour
Riva Petkovic Quotes (From Operation Detour)"You might be smart with computers, but in real life you are a complete idiot."
"Programmer, data entry clerk, whatever. How have you not gone insane already!?"
"Put some clothes on! Nobody wants to see that."
"All the great military operations had memorable names: Charge of the Light Brigade. Operation Overlord. How about Operation Make Him Your B*tch or Operation Dimwit?"
"He has already left a slime trail leading up to me."
"You do that again, sunshine, and I will leave you dead on the floor."
-- Riva Petkovic, from Operation Detour
Benny Reed Quotes (From Lottery President)"You really think the President is in charge of anything? He's a figurehead, a spokesman... he's the country's Vanna White."
"Instead of voting for the person they like best, they vote for the one they think they have to vote for so the other one doesn't win. The reason an otherwise good candidate has 'no chance' is because the media decided ahead of time they had no chance, and the uninformed, apathetic voters go along with it!"
"I'm not that smart. These other candidates just make me look good by comparison. Anyway, someone smarter than me would never run for president."
"I believe in life and all of its possibilities. Organized religion is the most destructive crowd-control device ever invented. It's the Taser for the soul. Hey, another good one!"
"What about terrorism?"
"Yes, religion is a form of terrorism."
"I don't know who's worse, Democrats or Republicans. They're two sides of the same coin, if you ask me. I don't subscribe to the left-right dichotomy promulgated by the mainstream corporate media. It's all part of their 'divide and conquer' mentality."
"I'm against the pseudo-Communism practiced in the Soviet Union and China. That's totalitarianism. I'm against any system that gives anyone something for nothing. I want a democratic meritocracy."
"This country needs someone secure enough in his own mental stability to not be afraid of 'crazy' ideas. All the best ideas started out as 'crazy.'"
"The main problem with this country is that it is run by politicians. They start out as lawyers, find that unfulfilling, and turn to politics. We need real people in positions of power, no more elites."
"I hate guns, but as long as the technology exists, I intend to own and know how to use one to defend myself if necessary. And trust me, lately it's been necessary."
"Overthrowing dictators, or any government, doesn't have to be done militarily."
-- Benny Reed, from Lottery President
Semmy Quotes (From Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo)"Don't be scared when you feel you are about to die. You're not frightened when you wake up in the morning, are you? Pretty much the same thing. 'Life is but a dream!'"
"We are from beyond the Pleiades, in the eighth dimension...when we're not slumming it down here in the third and fourth dimensions."
"This section of the Milky Way was originally designed as a negative counterbalance to the galaxy's otherwise positive nature. A cosmic septic tank, if you will. That's why it's so hard to get anything done around here. It's like slogging through knee-deep sewer mud! Only those with the best hip-waders make any real progress."
"Rumor has it a team of scientists was responsible for your solar system's accidental relocation. Arrogant, overpaid eggheads on a government contract lacking even the foresight to give themselves the excuse of being drunk. They were completely sober and playing with matches -- and by matches we mean subatomic particles -- energy fields, actually, but we won't get into the physics -- when there was a BIG BANG and the bulk of your solar system ended up over here near the galactic edge."
"What passes for intelligence, like with these scientists, often turns out to be nothing more than arrogance and delusion masquerading as higher IQ. The little mishap with the solar system can stand as Exhibit A."
"This dark force has manifested... countless times; given names like Necuratu, Beelzebub, Satan, The Dark Prince, The Adversary and, last but not least, the High Priest of Gray Areas, the scariest of them all to anyone insisting that everything is strictly black or white!"
"As to these Ceytons, they are idiots. But, remember what they say about arguing with an idiot: They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience! So, don't do it. You just step around them like dog crap on the sidewalk. You know they're there, but you avoid them."
-- Semmy, from Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo
Ol' Lightnin' Quotes (from The Lazy Pug Cafe)"It's not a tree's purpose in life to stand around being picturesque. Not this tree, at least. Maybe that weeping willow up front, or my old friends ruthlessly cut down in their prime when this place was built, but a mighty oak like me, a real tree's purpose is to... uh... is to... um... what was I saying? Oh yeah, a tree's purpose is to sink its roots as deep into the ground as possible, take hold of the Earth, and keep it from going anywhere!"
-- Ol' Lightnin', from The Lazy Pug Cafe
Random Book ReviewsFrom Lionel, January 2013: I just finished reading "The Walking Drum" by Louis L'Amour, a historical novel. Best book I've ever read. From Doug: Dad, I'm still finishing the David Baldacci book, First Family, and then have his Hour Game to read, but with that recommendation, I'd like you to save it for me. someone wrote: I just read the WORST novel I've ever read, called Son of Stone, by Stuart Woods. I've read his stuff before and it was OK, but I actually was rooting for all the Barringtons to get killed, then he killed the wife. I thought, cool, he's going to redeem the book by killing the rest of them. But alas, he stopped with the one. I actually sent him an email, which I doubt he'll respond to: "I realize it's too late for criticism, but I am reading Son of Stone and, for the first time in reading your books, I am gagging. I'm on page 170 and not only has nothing of consequence happened, but it reminds me of those Richie Rich comic books I read as a kid. Golly, isn't life wonderful when you're super rich and everything's going your way? Here, have a million bucks, wow! thanks! you're super, no YOU'RE super, have ten more! ah shucks, aren't we all swell? Maybe future books could be less fantasy-like and syrupy? And I'm pretty sure you can't legally change your date of birth, or people would be doing it all the time to retire early." From Lucy: I also read that and agree that it was one of the worst books ever! I also used to like his stuff. In this book, you actually WANT the characters to get killed! Your email was right on target, but I'm sure they won't respond. I have only emailed authors a couple of times. I have emailed authors to tell them that the DMV doesn't include vehicle color in their registration database. Only one author responded: J. A. Jance. She thanked me. I also told her her story where a beagle protected its owner was ridiculous, because a beagle would never protect anything but itself or its food bowl. She replied: "Beagle; point taken."
Culling the Population to Balance the Books"While the public is told the preconceived covid-19 "pandemic" is a calamity of unfolding proportion that emanates from a deadly mutated virus... invented in a laboratory and targets octogenarians in particular, and the proposed... mandated vaccination... may have more heinous consequences than the virus itself, there is another faction that sees this catastrophe differently. Those who know what this "pandemic" is really all about: insurance actuaries. It's about balancing the accounting books."
Read, listen or watch the rest here
CDC Caught Cooking the Books on Covid ShotsThe CDC has no power other than the power of suggestion. For many months now, we've known the covid-19 "pandemic" was the result of statistical manipulation and a fraudulent testing strategy. I detailed this scheme in covid-19 Testing Scandal Deepens and Astonishing covid-19 Testing Fraud Revealed. Now, as the infection has become endemic..."
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The Faded PageBooks in the public domain. "Free eBooks forever. FP now includes 6312 eBooks in its collection."
Read, listen or watch the rest here: fadedpage.com
A Couple of Freebies HereMy latest attempt at monetization on BuyMeACoffee.com... until they cancel me for being politically incorrect. To start things off, here's my first published work, and my most-recently published. "Work" sounds pretentious, I know. They're just a couple of novellas. See Temporary Insanity and The Lazy Pug Cafe.
Inspiration for My Novels and Novellas[Updated: 2022-04-11 05:34:25]I just put this together and thought I'd share it on this blog in addition to my writing platform. Wanted to state my political opinion and point of view. And what better way than to follow a candidate for president? To show what various "intelligence" agencies, and bad people in general, do to the innocent. Put in a lot of humor to make it more palatable. A speculation on what might go horribly wrong in the future with our daughter adopted from Russia. Another attempt at political opinion, but with real world solutions, as it follows Dobie doing just that on his speaking tour. A lot of humor here, too, but with some definite ugliness. Also threw in an alien presence because, whether they exist or not, there are forces and energies in our world that influence us, for good and ill. A silly, fantastical love letter to our dearly departed pugs.
Read, listen or watch the rest here inspirations
Another Way: Beyond the Status QuoAnti-corporate crusader Dobie Pokorny wants to save the world from corporate titans like Colonel Charonne. The latter and his henchmen are determined to stop him. On Dobie's "speaking truth to power" tour, he meets and falls in love with Kaylie while enduring attacks at every turn. She is out of his league, and he can't shake the thought "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is." Will Major Watson steal her away? Can they outrun and outwit Charonne? And, what's up with that little blue alien, Semmy?
Buy the book here or here
Backlash Prompts State Farm to Stop Donating Trans Books for 5-year-oldsYa think? Their community outreach (or whatever) person needs to be fired. "(WASHINGTON EXAMINER) -- Insurance company State Farm is discontinuing its support for the controversial GenderCool Project amid backlash following reports that the company was donating books about transgender issues, targeted at 5-year-olds, to schools . State Farm's support of a..."
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The Lazy Pug CafeThe Lazy Pug CafeThe Lazy Pug Café was a dilapidated old farmhouse abandoned years ago. A massive, ancient oak tree, Ol' Lightnin', lurked out back while the house itself served as a sad but charming reminder of days gone by. Locals were grateful someone was finally bringing the old girl back to life. Come meet pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey! There are cats and humans, too, but it's all about the pugs! Pugs rule!
First few paragraphs...As recently as a few months ago, the Lazy Pug Café was nothing but a dilapidated old two-story farmhouse. Set back forty yards from the road, there was a beautiful old weeping willow in front and massive ancient oak tree out back. Abandoned years ago, the estate's only purpose lately was to serve as a sad but charming reminder of days gone by. Locals witnessing its resurrection were grateful someone was finally bringing the old girl back to life. Despite the storm moving in from the southwest, people came from far and wide to have a look-see at the renamed, repainted and refurbished Lazy Pug Café. Originally white with a red tin roof, faded to pink, the newly dubbed Lazy Pug Café was now soft yellow with white trim and a solid black roof. From a distance, the thin film solar panels on top were invisible. Between the Café and road was a long, gravel horseshoe driveway. In the middle of that space now stood one of the Café owners, Kirk Winley. Just shy of six feet, with thick brown hair and a full beard, his farmer's tan made his blue eyes stand out more than they might have otherwise. He crossed his arms and soaked it all in with a deep, satisfied breath. He wanted the Café to be tan or fawn-colored with black trim, like a Pug, but his wife and co-owner, Hope, preferred a more traditional farmhouse look. "At a glance, at least," she said. She also wanted a fountain, maybe with a sculpture, surrounded by a small pond in the center of the driveway, but that and so many other improvements would have to wait. Their shoestring budget forced everything to come piecemeal. Their business loan applications were denied by every bank asked. There were too many other restaurants within easy driving distance, they were told, and neither Kirk nor Hope had ever run a business before. That didn't stop this Pug-loving couple, of course. They simply turned to Kirk's "money bags" older sister, Cecilia. "She's family," he insisted, "so borrowing from her is okay." Cecilia laughed at the "money bags" comment but was always looking for a good investment. Hope was reluctant to be indebted to her, precisely because she was family. But, Kirk was so passionate, so desperate for a cool place to hang out, so focused on the Café idea, she agreed on the condition that she had final say on all interior and exterior design. She humored him on several but had to say no to the idea of a bucking bronc and rider sculpture out front, with the bronc being a larger-than-life Pug and the rider being a similarly over-sized flea. One bit of exterior décor Kirk was allowed to contribute was a sign hand-written in red, like blood, hanging from the side yard fence: Beware of Pugs!
A stiff warm breeze rustled the leaves of the surrounding trees and pulled Kirk's attention in that direction, then up to the sky. Ominous clouds hung ready to soak the Earth below. He loved the sound of leaves in the wind and could listen to it all day – preferably with a glass of lemonade on the porch-swing out back – but it was time to get back inside. From behind that Beware! sign, the Pugs watched intently between the slats in the fence and wondered, What is Dad up to? And, why weren't we invited? Whatever he's doing, we can help! Cars began to pull into the parking lot, and people were getting out. What in the world!? Dad's in trouble! He obviously needed the Pugs to bark as loud as possible! It started with a short, low, menacing growl, followed by a bark, then a howl. A hoarse, asthmatic second Pug then joined in. Finally, a tenor blended his voice beautifully, barking and howling, as the Pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey – in that order – performed a capella for anyone who cared to listen.
Go to WilliamArthurHolmes.com for more.
A Free Library of Classic Books & Novels Here's the link: AmericanLiterature.com
- 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
- Abigail Adams and Her Times
- Absalom's Hair
- A Child's History of England
- A Christmas Carol
- A Comic History of the United States
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
- A Country Doctor
- Active Service
- Adam Bede
- A Daughter of Jehu
- A Daughter of the Snows
- A Doll's House
- A Dreary Story
- Adventure
- Adventures of the Teenie Weenies
- A Fable for Critics
- A Farewell to Arms
- After the Storm
- A Garland for Girls
- A Gentle Spirit
- A Happy Boy
- A Journey to the Center of the Earth
- Alexander's Bridge
- Alice Adams
- Alice In Wonderland
- Alice's Adventures Under Ground
- A Little Princess
- All Around the Moon
- All's Well That Ends Well
- A Lost Lady
- A Master of Craft
- A Midsummer Night's Dream
- A Modern Mephistopheles
- A Modern Utopia
- A Motor-Flight Through France
- An Autumn Sowing
- An Enemy of the People
- An Ideal Husband
- Animal Farm
- Anna Christie
- Anna Karenina
- Anne of Avonlea
- Anne of Green Gables
- Ann Veronica
- An Old-Fashioned Girl
- Anthem
- Antigone
- An Unfinished Song
- An Unhappy Girl
- Apology
- A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
- A Princess of Mars
- A Prisoner in Fairyland
- A Psychical Invasion
- Aria da Capo
- A Rolling Stone
- A Room of One's Own
- A Room With a View
- Around the World in 80 Days
- Arrowsmith
- A Scandal in Bohemia
- A Short History of the World
- A Simple Heart
- A Son Of The Sun
- A Sportsman's Sketches
- A Story of the Days to Come
- A Story of the Golden Age
- A Story of the Red Cross
- A Story of the Stone Age
- A Study in Scarlet
- As You Like It
- A Tale of Two Cities
- A Texas Matchmaker
- At Fault
- A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband
- A Tragedian in Spite of Himself
- A Tramp Abroad
- A Trip to Cuba
- At the Earth's Core
- At the Mountains of Madness
- Australian Tales
- Autumn
- A Vindication of the Rights of Woman
- A Ward of the Golden Gate
- Babbitt
- Barnaby Rudge
- Barry Lyndon
- Before Adam
- Behind A Mask or, A Woman's Power
- Beowulf
- Beyond Good and Evil
- Beyond the Horizon
- Billy Budd
- Black Beauty
- Bleak House
- Boris Godunov
- Bound to Rise
- Brave New World
- Brother Jacob
- Burning Daylight
- Camille
- Candide; or, The Optimist
- Captains Courageous
- Carmilla
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Charmides
- Chelkash
- Childe Harold's Pilgrimage
- Comedy of Errors
- Common Sense
- Confessions of an English Opium-Eater
- Considerations on Representative Government
- Cooking by Troops, for Camp and Hospital
- Cranford
- Cratylus
- Creative Unity
- Creatures That Once Were Men
- Crime and Punishment
- Critias
- Crito
- Crome Yellow
- Cup of Gold
- Daisy Miller
- David Copperfield
- Dead Souls
- Democracy in America
- Devil's Ford
- Dialstone Lane
- Dombey and Son
- Dom Casmurro
- Don Juan
- Don Quixote
- Doubrovsky
- Dracula
- Dream Women
- Dr. Heidenhoff's Process
- Drink
- Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
- Editha's Burglar
- Eight Cousins
- Emma
- Equality
- Ethan Frome
- Euthydemus
- Euthyphro
- Exiles
- Fantastic Fables
- Farcical History of Richard Greenow
- Far from the Madding Crowd
- Father Goriot
- Fathers and Sons
- First Love
- Florence Nightingale, The Angel of the Crimea
- Flower Fables
- Foods That Will Win the War and How to Cook Them
- For the Term of His Natural Life
- Frankenstein
- Frank's Campaign or the Farm and the Camp
- Free Air
- Garman and Worse
- George Silverman's Explanation
- Ghosts
- Gorgias
- Great Expectations
- Green Tea
- Gulliver's Travels
- Hamlet
- Happily Ever After
- Hard Times
- Heartbreak House
- Heart of Darkness
- Hedda Gabler
- Heidi
- Henry VIII
- Herland
- Hospital Sketches
- Howards End
- How the Two Ivans Quarrelled
- Human, All Too Human
- Ile
- In a Hollow of the Hills
- In Colonial Days
- Inheritors
- In the Days of the Comet
- Ion
- Ivanhoe
- Ivanoff
- Jack and Jill
- Jacob's Room
- James Huneker
- Jane Eyre
- John Barleycorn
- John Silence, Physician Extraordinary
- Jo's Boys
- Joseph Conrad
- Journal
- Julia Ward Howe (1819 - 1910)
- Jungle Tales of Tarzan
- Just So Stories
- Kidnapped
- Kim
- King Henry V
- King Lear
- Kitty of the Roses
- Kora in Hell
- Laches
- Lady Chatterley's Lover
- Lady Susan
- Lady Windermere's Fan
- Laws
- Les Miserables
- Letters From an American Farmer
- Life on the Mississippi
- Life's Little Ironies
- Little Dorrit
- Little Lord Fauntleroy
- Little Men
- Little Women
- Liza of Lambeth
- Lois the Witch
- Looking Backward from 2000 to 1887
- Lord Jim
- Lord of the World
- Lorna Doone
- Louisa May Alcott: Her Life, Letters, and Journals
- Love's Labour's Lost
- Lyrical Ballads, With a Few Other Poems
- Lysis
- Macbeth
- Madame Bovary
- Maggie: A Girl of the Streets
- Main Street
- Major Barbara
- Man and Superman
- Mansfield Park
- Marching Men
- Mardi: and a Voyage Thither
- Martin Chuzzlewit
- Martin Eden
- Mary: A Fiction
- Mary Barton
- Master of the World
- May Day Eve
- McTeague: A Story of San Francisco
- Menexenus
- Men Like Gods
- Meno
- Middlemarch
- Miss Crespigny
- Miss Ludington's Sister
- Miss Lulu Bett
- Miss Lulu Bett (play)
- Moby-Dick; or, The Whale
- Moods
- Mosquitoes
- Mother
- Mr. Justice Harbottle
- Mrs. Dalloway
- Mrs. Farrell
- My Antonia
- My Brilliant Career
- My Chinese Marriage
- My Father's Dragon
- My Fellow-Traveller
- My Year in a Log Cabin
- Nana
- Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave
- Nicholas Nickleby
- Night and Day
- Nineteen Eighty-Four
- North and South
- Northanger Abbey
- Nostromo, a Tale of the Seaboard
- Notes from Underground
- Oak Openings
- Oedipus at Colonus
- Oedipus the King
- Off on a Comet
- Of Human Bondage
- Of the Nature of Things
- Old Christmas
- Oliver Twist
- Omoo: A Narrative of Adventures in the South Seas
- One of Ours
- On Liberty
- On The High Road
- O Pioneers!
- Othello
- Our Mutual Friend
- Out of Nowhere into Nothing
- Out of Time's Abyss
- Pandora
- Paradise Lost
- Parmenides
- Pembroke
- People Out of Time
- Personal Memoirs of U.S. Grant
- Persuasion
- Peter
- Peter Pan
- Phaedo
- Philebus
- Pierrot, Dog of Belgium
- Pinocchio
- Pirates of Venus
- Politics: A Treatise on Government
- Poor Folk
- Poor White
- Pride and Prejudice
- Protagoras
- Puritanism As a Literary Force
- Putting the Most Into Life
- Pygmalion
- Queen Victoria
- Ragged Dick
- Rebecca Of Sunnybrook Farm
- Redburn. His First Voyage
- Reed Anthony, Cowman
- Riders of the Purple Sage
- Robinson Crusoe
- Rob Roy
- Romeo and Juliet
- Rose O' the River
- Roughing It
- Salthaven
- Science in the Kitchen
- Sense and Sensibility
- Septimius Felton
- Seven Little Australians
- Shirley
- Show Boat
- Siddhartha
- Silas Marner
- Sir Walter Raleigh
- Sister Carrie
- Smoke
- Society and Solitude: Twelve Chapters
- Songs of Experience
- Songs of Innocence
- Sons and Lovers
- Sophist
- Spirits in Bondage
- Statesman
- Stubbs's Calendar or The Fatal Boots
- Studies in Classic American Literature
- Sufferings In Africa
- Suffrage Songs and Verses
- Summer
- Summer
- Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town
- Supernatural Horror in Literature
- Symposium
- Tartuffe; or, The Hypocrite
- Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar
- Tarzan of the Apes
- Tarzan the Terrible
- Tarzan the Untamed
- Tempest and Sunshine
- Tender Buttons
- The Adventures of Ann
- The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
- The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
- The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
- Theaetetus
- The Age of Innocence
- The Amazing Interlude
- The American
- The American Language
- The Anniversary
- The Art of War
- The Aspern Papers
- The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
- The Awakening
- The Baron's Gloves; or, Amy's Romance
- The Battle of Life
- The Bear
- The Beast in the Jungle
- The Beasts of Tarzan
- The Beautiful and Damned
- The BFG
- The Big Town
- The Birds' Christmas Carol
- The Black Arrow
- The Black Tulip
- The Blazing World
- The Blithedale Romance
- The Bostonians
- The Brass Check
- The Brothers Karamazov
- The Bunner Sisters
- The Business of Being a Woman
- The Call of the Wild
- The Canterbury Tales
- The Captain's Daughter
- The Castle of Otranto
- The Cat's Paw
- The Cave Girl
- The Celestial Omnibus
- The Centaur
- The Cherry Orchard
- The Chessmen of Mars
- The Chimes
- The Chronicles of Clovis
- The Circular Staircase
- The Clue of the Twisted Candle
- The Common Lot
- The Confidence Man
- The Corsair
- The Corsican Brothers
- The Count of Monte Cristo
- The Country of the Pointed Firs
- The Cricket on the Hearth
- The Cruise of the Snark
- The Custom of the Country
- The Damned
- The Death of Ivan Ilych
- The Death of the Lion
- The Devil's Dictionary
- The Diamond Lens
- The Diary of Samuel Pepys
- The Divine Comedy
- The Dreams in the Witch House
- The Duke of Stockbridge: A Romance of Shays' Rebellion
- The Exiles
- The Extra Day
- The Fall of the House of Usher
- The Fat and the Thin
- The Federalist Papers
- The Fifth String
- The Financier
- The First Men in the Moon
- The Fixed Period
- The Flying Girl
- The Food of the Gods
- The Forest Runners
- The Foresyte Saga
- The Fortunes and Misfortunes of Moll Flanders
- The Four Just Men
- The Freaks of Mayfair
- The Free Rangers
- The Further Adventures of Robinson Crusoe
- The Future in America
- The Gambler
- The Garden of Survival
- The Gates Ajar
- The Girl from Farris's
- The Girls of Silver Spur Ranch
- The Gods of Mars
- The Good Soldier
- The Goose-Step
- The Great American Pie Company
- The Great Gatsby
- The Great God Pan
- The Grey Woman
- The Guns of Bull Run
- The Hairy Ape
- The Hampdenshire Wonder
- The Haunted Baronet
- The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargain
- The Heritage of the Desert
- The Hermit and the Wild Woman
- The Heroic Slave
- The Hill of Dreams
- The History of Henry Esmond
- The History of Mr. Polly
- The Home and the World
- The Horror at Red Hook
- The Hound of the Baskervilles
- The House Behind The Cedars
- The House by the Churchyard
- The House of Mirth
- The House of Seven Gables
- The Human Chord
- The Hunters of the Hills
- The Idiot
- The Iliad
- The Importance of Being Earnest
- The Inferno
- The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano, or Gustavas Vassa, The African
- The Invisible Man
- The Iron Heel
- The Island of Doctor Moreau
- The Jamesons
- The Jewel of Seven Stars
- The Jungle
- The Jungle Book
- The Kidnapped Prime Minister
- The King in Yellow
- The Lady of the Lake
- The Lady of the Shroud
- The Lair of the White Worm
- The Land That Time Forgot
- The Last Asset
- The Last of the Mohicans
- The Law
- The Learned Women
- The Legend of Saint Julian the Hospitaller
- The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus
- The Life of Samuel Johnson
- The Little Duke
- The Log of a Cowboy
- The Lost Continent
- The Lost Prince
- The Lost World
- The Machine Stops
- The Mad King
- The Magician
- The Magnificent Ambersons
- The Maine Woods
- The Man
- The Man in the Iron Mask
- The Man Whom the Trees Loved
- The Marble Faun
- The Master Key: An Electrical Fairy Tale
- The Master Mind of Mars
- The Merchant of Venice
- The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood
- The Merry Wives of Windsor
- The Metamorphoses of Ovid
- The Metamorphosis
- The Middle Class Gentleman
- The Miller's Daughter
- The Million Pound Bank Note
- The Mill on the Floss
- The Miser
- The Moneychangers
- The Moon and Sixpence
- The Moonstone
- The Mucker
- The Mule-Bone
- The Mysterious Affair at Styles
- The Mysterious Island
- The Mysterious Key and What It Opened
- The Mysterious Lodger
- The Mysterious Stranger
- The Mystery of the Blue Train
- The Mystery of the Yellow Room
- The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym
- The New Machiavelli
- The Oakdale Affair
- The Octopus
- The Odd Women
- Theodore Dreiser
- The Odyssey
- The Old Curiosity Shop
- The Outlet
- The Outside
- The Pavilion on the Links
- The People That Time Forgot
- The Phantom of the Opera
- The Pickwick Papers
- The Picture of Dorian Gray
- The Pilgrim's Progress
- The Pioneers
- The Poetics of Aristotle
- The Portrait of a Lady
- The Possessed
- The Power and the Glory
- The Prince
- The Prince and the Pauper
- The Problems of Philosophy
- The Professor
- The Prophet
- The Proposal
- The Purple Cloud
- The Railway Children
- The Red Badge of Courage
- The Region of Dead Calm
- The Republic
- The Return of Tarzan
- The Return of the Mucker
- The Rise of Silas Lapham
- The Romance of a Christmas Card
- The Room in the Dragon Volant
- The Sayings of Confucius
- The Scarlet Letter
- The Scarlet Plague
- The School for Learned Husbands
- The Scouts of the Valley
- The Seagull
- The Sea Wolf
- The Second Jungle Book
- The Secret Adversary
- The Secret Agent
- The Secret Garden
- The Shadow Out of Time
- The Shadows over Innsmouth
- The Siege of the Castle
- The Sign of the Four
- The Silver Box
- The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent.
- The Skipper's Wooing
- The Sleeper Awakes
- The Soil
- The Song of the Lark
- The Son of Tarzan
- The Souls of Black Folk
- The Sound and the Fury
- The Star of Gettysburg
- The Star Rover
- The Story of a Bad Boy
- The Story of Abraham Lincoln
- The Story of Benjamin Franklin
- The Story of Daniel Webster
- The Story of Doctor Dolittle
- The Story of George Washington
- The Story of Julia Page
- The Story of Mankind
- The Story of the Treasure Seekers
- The Straw
- The Sun Also Rises
- The Swiss Family Robinson
- The Sword of Antietam
- The Talisman
- The Taming of the Shrew
- The Tempest
- The Three Musketeers
- The Three Sisters
- The Time Machine
- The Titan
- The Tragedy of Julius Caesar
- The Tragedy of Pudd'Nhead Wilson
- The Trial
- The Troll Garden
- The Turn of the Screw
- The Valley of Fear
- The Vampyre
- The Vegetable; or, from President to Postman
- The Verge
- The Visioning
- The Voyage Out
- The Voyages of Doctor Dolittle
- The Warden
- The War in the Air
- The Warlord of Mars
- The War of the Worlds
- The War That Will End War
- The Water-Babies
- The Watsons
- The Wealth of Nations
- The Wedding
- The Wendigo
- The Wheels of Chance
- The Whisperer in Darkness
- The White People
- The Widowing of Mrs. Holroyd
- The Wife
- The Willows
- The Wind in the Willows
- The Window at the White Cat
- The Wings of the Dove
- The Wonder
- The Wonderful Visit
- The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
- The Wouldbegoods
- The Young Trailers
- Thirty Years a Slave: From Bondage to Freedom
- This Side of Paradise
- Three Men
- Three Men in a Boat
- Three Soldiers
- Through the Looking Glass
- Thuvia, Maid of Mars
- Timaeus
- Tolstoy on Shakespeare
- Tom Sawyer Abroad
- Tom Sawyer, Detective
- Tom Swift and His Aerial Warship
- Tom Swift and His Airship
- Tom Swift and His War Tank
- Treasure Island
- Trifles
- True Stories of Girl Heroines
- Twelve Years a Slave
- Two Treatises of Government
- Typee
- Typhoon
- Ultor de Lacy: A Legend of Cappercullen
- Ulysses
- Uncle Abner, Master Of Mysteries
- Uncle Silas
- Uncle Tom's Cabin; or, Life Among the Lowly
- Uncle Vanya
- Understood Betsy
- Under the Lilacs
- Up From Slavery: An Autobiography
- Utilitarianism
- Vanity Fair
- Walden Pond
- War and Peace
- Wells Brothers
- What Diantha Did
- When William Came
- While the Billy Boils
- White Fang
- White-Jacket
- White Nights
- Whose Body?
- Windy McPherson's Son
- Winesburg, Ohio
- Winnie The Pooh
- Woman in the Nineteenth Century
- Women in Love
- Write It Right
- Wuthering Heights
- Wylder's Hand
- Youth
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Vernon Coleman books
Scared to Life ... and Loving It!: One Man's Journey With Prostate Cancer
My Life -- Lionel Joseph Holmes
Portuguese Pioneers of the Sacramento Area
For Control of Oz
Descendants of Wolves