Tweets Page

by bill - 2013-12-22 ( culture / writing / tweets ) [html version]

Note: I am no longer on Twitter or Facebook, but here's what I've managed to salvage from back then.

My Twitter feed: by @TheBillHolmes

Some of my better tweets, according to me ...

• Never work FOR someone else, work WITH them.
• I do some of my best work when I'm supposed to be doing something else.
• Elizabeth this AM: Dad, can you get my other shoe outside? It's frozen to the ground!
• My biggest worry, of course, is that I will no longer have anything to worry about.
• Pulling my daughter in a sled on snowy sidewalk to friends' house, I turn around & see her waving like a beauty queen on a pageant float.
• There's something just sad about a middle-aged man admiring himself in the mirror. But enough about me. Kidding. It was someone else.

• Me: Can we throw this out?

  Elizabeth: Fine.

  Me: I see you've learned from your mom how to say "fine" without it meaning "fine" at all.

• People need to be listened to -- preferably agreed with -- more than anything else. If you could do one thing for someone, that would be it.
• 9yo daughter buys painting at Walgreens, and says, "It's made in China. They're really good painters."
• Wife tried to foist hazelnut creamer on me. Had to set her straight. I'm a manly man, and manly men drink their coffee black!
• At Dr today the hot female nurse practitioner said "Wow" when I took off my shirt. Can you blame her? Too bad it was for wrong reason.
• Life is like flying: You have to keep moving & make constant adjustments, but there's always time for a few loop-de-loops!
• The person who knows that they're not innately superior to anyone is the better-informed person.
• If anything is learned, it's not time wasted.
• Life is so huge and full of problems. Luckily, life is so huge and full of answers.
• Can someone please create an app that will block images of all recognizable politicians? My online world would be a better place.
• Intellect is great, but don't fall too much in love with it. It's just one of several tools we have for navigating/creating our lives.
• 9yo explains the FIVE basic elements: Earth needs Water, making Air, causing Electricty, making Fire, put out with Water. Full circle!
• Don't hate others for being different from you. Do you really WANT everyone to be just like you? I didn't think so.
• IQ doesn't matter. The smartest people are those who make the best use of their time, energy and talents .. without being a**holes.
• et cetera (a.k.a. "etc."): It's Latin for "blah blah blah."
• Daughter made my day. I said a misbehaving PC was retarded, but I outsmarted it and fixed it. She said, "Of course you did. You're my Dad!"
• Having friends is so much better than having enemies.
• Having an Obama 2012 sticker is as bad as a Bush 2004 sticker. You didn't learn your lesson after their first term?
• "Snowboard Cross" is definitely my favorite winter Olympics sport! But to add difficulty they should make them answer texts while boarding!
• Watching TV weather alerts is always educational. I always learn of a town nearby I'd never heard of. This time it's Dull, TN! Wow.
• "Be as smart as you can, but remember it is always better to be wise than smart. -- Alan Alda" My wife & I said this last night!
• My 8yo daughter asking me to cook bacon & eggs, starts nodding her head, saying, "Yes." A natural-born manipulator. I'm so proud. :)
• I realize I'm at the Y, with no expectation of privacy or "quiet," but I wish these women behind me would shut up! I'm trying to write! :)
• Apparently girls rule and boys drool. Who knew? Makes sense, though.
• U want heaven? Be an angel.
• People aren't science experiments, they're works of art & should be treated as such.
• As I was picking her up after school recently, Elizabeth got into the car and, very seriously, announced, "I can understand gibberish." I just cracked up, with that gasping-for-breath laugh. She said, "What?" And I said, "I love you. You're just so funny sometimes!"
• 8yo, talking about something she'll do as a teenager, pauses and adds, "But, you'll be dead by then." I just had to laugh. So sweet.

Recent Tweets

by bill - 2015-09-15 ( culture / writing / tweets ) [html version]

Note: I am no longer on Twitter or Facebook.

I remember when I didn't know what a "tweet" was, other than the sound a bird makes. It wasn't so long ago, either. Below is just a random list of tweets. Pathetic, I know, but I felt the need to put something new on the site. Anyway.

"

Saturday, July 20, 2013: Picked more blackberries this evening, just before dark, before it started raining again. Now I'm thinking about feng shui
... no, there's no correlation between the two. I'm just thinking of rearranging my office. Couldn't care less about feng shui
... and why is it spelled "feng shui" when it's supposed to be a Latin phonetic spelling? It should be spelled "fung shway." I think I
... am in the middle of a Twitter rant/monologue/brain seizure?, 140 characters at a time. :) And, no, I'm not drunk. If I COULD drink
... well, it doesn't matter. Those days are long gone. And, no, I don't miss it. Just like I don't miss TV. Both make you stupid. Anyway
... Enough rambling. I was just doing this as an impromptu writing exercise, or maybe that shoulda been "exorciscm?" :)

Sunday, July 21, 2013: Wordnik claims to be the most comprehensive English dictionary in the world. WordNik. I don't know about that, but I like it.

Thursday, August 1, 2013: 8yo daughter: I wish you'd work from home again. ME: Didn't make enough money. HER: What you need is advertising! You need more style!

Saturday, August 3, 2013: Feng Shui achieved! (Fung Shway, as it should be spelt). I rearranged my desk so my back's to the wall and I'm facing outward! Feels good!
And I've got both monitors working again! I LOVE dual monitors! How'd we ever live without them... and cell phones... and smart phones and...

Sunday, August 4, 2013: Google's new City Experts program doles out free swag in exchange for reviews via @Pocketlint (https://www.pocket-lint.com/news/122707-Google-s-new-city-experts-program-doles-out-free-swag-in-exchange-for-reviews)

... 8yo daughter again, explaining the cheeseburger she's munching on: I'm eating this now so I can taste it later when I'm starving in church.

For more such mindless drivel, go to Tweets by @TheBillHolmes

Tweets from British people about the demonstration today

by don - 2021-04-28 ( life / health / covid / fraud ) [html version]

Here are some tweets from British people about the demonstration. They make it sound like the tyranny is falling apart.

twitter.com

Meanwhile, the media is pushing the panic button in India, but people in India say there's no covid crisis.

Anyone in India? What's covid19 reality there?

Yes. Me! There are not 1000s dying & dead bodies everywhere. It's all doom and gloom fear programming. I just went to the local govt hospital there.

Elon Musk Destroys Bill Gates: Tweets Photo Captioned in Case You Need to Lose a B*ner Fast After Confirming Leaked Texts Where He Turns Down

by bill - 2022-04-27 ( education / news / fraud ) [html version]

Bill Gates needs to go back to whatever hell he slithered out of.

"A recent confrontation between Tesla founder/CEO Elon Musk and billionaire climate hoaxer and vaccine "scientist" Bill Gates was confirmed to be real by Musk last night. In a tweet on Friday, Twitter user Whole Mars Catalogue shared screenshots of a text message thread on Twitter and..."

Read, listen or watch the rest here

Satire: Winning: Elon Musk Makes All of Bill Gates's Tweets Autocorrect to Say Poopy Butt'

by bill - 2022-04-30 ( education / news / satire ) [html version]

Bill Gates needs to go back to whatever hell he slithered out of.

" SAN FRANCISCO, CA--In the first step toward a world blossoming with freedom of speech, Elon Musk, the proud new owner of Twitter, ordered the company’s tech team to make all tweets by Bill Gates autocorrect to say “Poopy butt.”

The..."

Read, listen or watch the rest here