by bill - 1992-10-22 ( family / holmes / newsletter )
The Leaping Lizard
Vol. 4, No. 8, October 20, 1992
EDITOR'S NOTE ...
After Grandma's recent birthday party (see article below), this newsletter was swamped with requests from people wanting to be added to our mailing list. (Someone had apparently smuggled in a copy of the latest issue.) Anyway, our phones have been ringing off the hook ever since. Seems everyone liked the newsletter. They were probably reading the wrong newsletter, but so what, we added them to the mailing list anyway.
The entire Leaping Lizard staff welcomes all of our new readers! And feel free to contribute news items for inclusion in the newsletter. But please don't get upset if your story is not printed or, worse yet, is twisted and distorted (in the time-honored tradition of the news media) into something that you hardly recognize as what you had submitted.
Oh sure, your first submission will be given the "newsletter treatment" as mentioned above, and you'll probably become very upset. You may even call in death threats to the staff - feel free! It wouldn't be the first time - but, you'll eventually get used to this newsletter's casual disregard for the truth.
Thank you. And have a nice day.
Oh, and by the way, in case you're wondering how come this newsletter has a different name than the last one, don't worry. You'll get used to that, too. We do it for tax purposes.
Giant puppies invade Livingston!
Six huge "killer puppies" - four males, two females - appeared "out of nowhere" to wreak havoc on the once-sleepy town of Livingston, California.
"I haven't seen anything like it since Godzilla and Mothra!" said Mike. "There were strange crop formations in the back yard, too."
"Oh, come on," said Lucy. "They're just puppies. Now help me name them, would ya?"
This is Lucy's Nightshadow Kennels' fifth, or "E" litter. So, all the names must begin with the letter "E." Mike suggested "Eloise" and "Elvis." Lucy came up with "Eldon." And, here are a few names we would like to suggest: El Cid, El Dorado, El Bow, Eskimo Pie, Episcopalian, Evil Genius, Elevator Music, Electraglide, Ella Fitzgerald, East River Slimedog.
We sincerely hope these suggestions help Lucy in her effort to name this latest litter. It's the best we could do. There aren't a lot of names that start with "E."
Birthday bash at Uncle Tony's
Grandma's party took place at her brother Tony's place in Cameron Park on Sept. 25. It was her 95th birthday, and the guest list read like a who's who of the Holmes family: Tony Silveira and wife his Jean (they live there, so there was no getting around inviting them), Elmer (all the way from Hawaii), Hal & Del, Dolores ("Aunt Sis"), Lionel ("Dad") & Eleanor, Ollie, Lucy & Mike, Steve & Denise, Jeannie and Doug. Grandma was a no show.
Cameras were flashing all over the place and Steve and Doug, of course, brought their video cameras. Doug took the obligatory large group photo, photos of Grandma and all her four children together, and many individual photos. It's been five years since all her children were all together at once - a historic occasion! Grandma was so happy, she cried! We got this on video, too.
Her 100th birthday is scheduled to be at Doug's place.
Bill buys gun